Busyness is not worthiness

I'm currently writing this at roughly 5pm. Today I: a FaceTimed my sister; had coffee with a friend; bought a 22nd birthday present; had lunch with a different friend; face-timed my parents; set my budget for the term; went on a 2-mile run and a 2-hour nap… but I can't help but feel like I haven't done enough… like I'm not enough.

The irony is that I have just finished my third audiobook on burnout. My generation is between the burnout generation of the millennials and the self-care-prioritising generation after me. And honestly, it feels like I'm stuck in limbo.

Perhaps it's my personality type. Actually, I'm 99% sure it's down to my personality type. The kind that's classified 'A' or 'Fiery Red' or 'ENTJ'. The personality type of 'highly effective leaders, CEOs and famously Margaret Thatcher. Knowing our personalities helps a bit. It helps to know that it isn't something wrong with me. It's just how I'm wired, but maybe it needs to come with a caution sign.

See, all humans seek a high sense of worth. Unfortunately, for some, it seems like our value is inextricably tied to how full our diaries are or whether our to-do list is complete.

The thing is, for some people reading this, it won't resonate. And that's good! I'm finding that on the days when I feel worthless because I only woke up at 9, not 7, and I read one paper not two, and I made one dinner and not meal prepped for the week - having people around me who say "that's enough" or even better "you're enough" has done me a world of good.

I moved in with three mates for the third term of my second year. My days consisted of at least a few social things, a gym visit, and perhaps a work shift. I'd come home to a content friend who said, "I've had a super busy and fun day - I went for a coffee and to the gym". In my mind, I'd think, "that's surely not nearly enough to be happy and content in yourself". But for him, it was.

What I'm saying is this: it's essential to surround ourselves with people who are different for so many reasons, but in particular, I'm thankful that I have people who speak against that part of my brain that equates busyness to worth.